There's an evil force spreading far and wide
'Cross this kingdom of pipes and fungus
We have seen the hell of each deadly turtle shell
But a hero resides among us
Not a tow'ring man, not a daunting knight
Still, a smart lionheart is he
Who is this noble demigod?
There's a tyrant king with a reptile heart
And he's started a wave of crime now
From his ship high above he abducted my love
For the fourteenth or fifteenth time now
Who will stop this foe, who will save the day
Win this war, yes, victoriously
I'll give you just one guess, time's up
I have hopped through his hordes, so much blood on my shoes
With a murderous battle cry: "hoo-hoo!"
I have burnt them alive with the fire from my hands
Every last one, I vow, shall die!
And I run underneath as the tyrant leaps
I'm unstoppable now as he fin'lly reaps his recompense:
Death by lava.
And I run down the hall for I cannot wait
I'm unstoppable now on a charge heading straight into the arms
of my lover...
Thank you, Mario, but our Princess is in another castle.
There's an anguished man with a forlorn face
For it's cold and the nights are lonely
He can look all around but his Princess can't be found
It's his fault and it's his fault only
He brought on this war with a c***y grin
Only now does he truly see
He hoisted this upon himself
Who is this Italian handyman elf?