I don't mind being confined
To LA State Prison
Cause I would drive with DUI's
I caused some collisions

They tell me now that my appeal has been denied
and that this sentence is now bona-fide
How bout a jail that won't insult my civic pride
Like somewhere on the Upper West Side
with a water slide...ohhh noooo

Even though they say I'm shady
I'm really so refined
I need a cleaning lady
I can't do time...

Robert Blake and OJ SIMPSON
They both get off scott free
I drive without a license
They throw the book right at me
It sucks to the highest degree

Ha ahh, Ha ahhh,

I went ape, on a sex tape
The guys all went ga-ga
Now I, must make, my jail escape
I miss my Chihuahua

My friend Nicole drove down that freeway the wrong way
She'll probably get parole and float away
Because she weighs, Zeroooooo

Even though I got the glamour
Even though my clothes are fab
They throw me in the slammer
Britney gets re-hab!

They put me in the big house
Sounds like a movie pitch
Heiress goes up the river
Ends up as somebody's bitch

They can't do this to me, I'm rich
Ha ahh, Ha ahhh,
And now I am digging a ditch...
Ha ahh, Ha ahhh,
My roomate's a woman named Mitch!